Unabashed

Batman’s utility belt, Quasar’s quantum bands…there are tons of superheroes (and villains) out there who’ve accessorized to better enable them to perform their duties. Reed Richards has made a living out of building gadgets and machinery for his team and for the world at large. He designed unstable molecules so he and the rest of the Fantastic Four could remain clothed while using their powers. Unstable molecules might sound fanciful, but they fit right into the vein of scifi tech made real if you look over at the nanoscience industry. Unstable molecules actually sound like a precursor for nanobots if you think of it that way.

But who has the best accessory in comicdom? Captain America’s shield would get a lot of votes, as a symbol as well as a useful instrument. Some might vote for Wonder Woman’s various accoutrement: her silver bracelets, her golden lasso or her ridiculous invisible jet, but I wouldn’t. If I was voting for hottest chick in comics she’d be right in the top ten, but in my humble opinion, her gadgetry is unimaginative and lame. Ditto for Green Lantern’s ring, which is an awesomely powerful item, with the tremendous drawback that it is powerless against anything colored yellow (Damn! Beaten by a banana). Some would vote for Wolverine’s claws, but again, not me. Primarily because I don’t consider them an accessory. They are a part of his body; he can’t take them off and leave them on the bedstand when he’s sleeping. They just snict right back into his arm. So the verdict on Wolvie’s claws is: immensely cool, but not qualifying.

The list goes on and on:

These items have no power augmentation or special attributes: 

• Captain America’s shield–unbreakable, yes, but does it fire lasers? Sadly, no. 
• Elektra’s Sais
• Batman’s utility belt
• Deadpool’s swords
• Green Arrow bow and arrow
• Moon Knight’s utility belt
• Hawkeye’s bow and arrow
• Hawkman’s mace

These items are imbued with some attribute which increases their power, or the power of their wielder:

• The Infinity Gauntlet – infinitely powerful, but in the end it’s just a glove with little gemstones on the end of it; not very cool. And besides, picking this as the coolest accoutrement is kind of like picking Superman as the coolest superhero. Sure, he’s cool, but who can beat him? They defaulted his character as the most invincible being there is (at least in the DC universe). (I’d put my money on Galactus against Supes, especially if G’s just eaten a nice, fat, juicy planet).
• Thor’s hammer (Mjolnir)
• Quasar’s quantum bands
• Annihilus’s Cosmic Rod – cool and classic, but then so is…
• Silver Surfer’s board (From here on out I’m omitting anything imbued with the power cosmic on the basis that they are defaulted to be infinitely powerful and yet are too hard to define)
• Iron Man’s suit
• Wonder Woman’s lasso, bracelets, and invisible jet
• Green Lantern’s ring

I’m probably still missing some, But which is best? When it comes right down to it there are only two that really deserve to be in the conversation at all (for me, anyway):

Thor’s hammer and Iron Man’s armor, both from Marvel Comics and both awesomely powerful (but not too powerful, not infinitely powerful). Let’s break it down:

Mjolnir

• Imbues wielder with super strength and invulnerability 
• Forged by dwarven blacksmith of the mystical Asgardian metal Uru 
• Can summon the four elements: rain, wind, thunder and lightning
• Can open interdimensional portals
• When thrown, if you hold on to the strap very tightly, enables flight (basically it yanks you through the air at tremendous speed. This is probably the coolest flight adaptation in comicdom outside of Hulk’s bounding ability)
• When thrown, returns automatically to the spot from which it was hurled after it strikes the target
• Can be recalled to the hand of the wielder

Iron Man’s Armor

• Imbues wielder with super strength and near-invulnerability
• Jet boots enable supersonic flight
• Is equipped with numerous defense systems: repulsor rays, pulse beams, missile launchers, lasers, tasers, and flamethrowers
• Has a unibeam in the chest that can emit various types of light energy
• Helmet contains comm and recording devices and scanning equipment

In the end you have the ultimate gadget–Iron Man’s armor–and the ultimate mystical relic–Thor’s hammer. I think I’d be okay with either one.

written by Matt Mitchell \\ tags: accessories, accessorize, armor, book, Books, claws, comic, hammer, Iron Man, marvel, Mjolnir, snict, Thor, wolverine