Jul 04

Here is a great tribute to America, courtesy of Matt Parker and Trey Stone of South Park fame. Er…disclaimer: there’s a lot of foul language in this video, but it’s funny, so…Happy 4th of July.

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written by Matt Mitchell \\ tags: , ,

Jun 30

It’s no great mystery that I live in a primarily conservative state. Alabama is a red state, and it’s hard to imagine that changing very much. I generally don’t talk politics with friends or family, unless I’ve already got an idea of how they’re inclined to think, because there aren’t many more futile things to do. They believe one way, the right way, and there’s no changing that, no altering it, absolutely no pliancy. I do have my conservative leanings, but I’m far, far to the left as far as most folks around here are concerned. So, in order to keep from being considered “wacky” or “goofy,” I keep my politics to myself. But this weekend when I was visiting with my mother, my step father began talking and I felt my blood boil. He began by telling me what lousy shape we were going to be in if Obama becomes president.

“We’re already in lousy shape,” I replied. “And you can blame that on Bush.”

Surprisingly, he nodded at that. I couldn’t really believe he was agreeing with me, I thought I was traipsing way out on a limb, but evidently it’s more commonly accepted that W has placed a noose around all our necks than I’d thought. Even among my fellow Alabamians.

“But it’ll get worse if Obama is elected,” he said.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“You just watch, if he gets elected, he’s going to give that preacher of his a job in his cabinet. Maybe even Secretary of State.”

Whoa, was he talking about Jeremiah Wright, the controversial reverend who Obama’s publicly disassociated himself with? “But he denounced that preacher,” I said. “Publicly.”

He nodded, knowingly, with his smug expression, as if he had all the answers in the world, and said, “You just wait and see if he doesn’t. He’s going to side with the Muslims.”

At this point everything kind of happened in a blur. I accused him of slander. I reminded him that his beloved Ronald Wilson Reagan was predicted to be the anti-Christ at one point early in his presidency because he had six letters in each of his three names, which made it obvious to some people that he was from the devil. I told him I wasn’t convinced who I was voting for, but it damn sure wasn’t going to be based on the information I’d gathered from the Bubba crowd of ill-wishers who think the country has to be run by a Republican or it’s going to go up in flames, especially when it is, right now, in as bad a shape as it’s been in since the Great Depression, and it was a Republican who drove it into the fire. I also told him that I was convinced that the good ol’ boy network wasn’t going to vote for him because he’s black, and that they’ll do anything to sabotage his campaign, even resorting to petty slander and baseless character defamation when they’ve got nothing solid to use.

At that point my mother told me I needed to calm down a little bit. And I realized I was raving, and I regretted it immensely. This is exactly why I don’t like to talk politics, I thought, but it was too late, I’d already accused my step dad, essentially, of belonging to a racist Bubba faction of conservative politics. Things got really quiet for several long minutes. And then my step dad said, quietly, “You know, I would have voted for Colin Powell if he’d run.” And of course he would have, because Powell would have run on the right ticket. He couldn’t be evil because he isn’t a liberal. I pointed out, politely, that Powell’s politics were a lot less conservative than most Republicans and left it at that.

Down here, people pick their political parties like they pick their trucks, or their favorite sports team: Ford or Chevy, Republican or Democrat, Alabama or Auburn, and they support them no matter what. It’s a marriage of sorts, and it’s intended by God (obviously) to last one’s entire life, no questions asked, right or wrong. Even the Democrats vote blindly for their party, as I’m sure most of the country does, too. And that’s the biggest problem I have with the two-party system. People want their team to win, and even if the other party has a vastly, obviously superior candidate, they’ll still vote in their dumdum, just because they want their party to win. And if they lose, they’ll never be convinced that the president will ever do anything worth doing. They just criticize, non-stop, in hopes of getting their team’s candidate elected the next time. It is for that reason alone that I will not claim a party. I will try my best to look through the party lines, to see where they stand on actual issues that I care about and then vote for them. And I am sick to death of hearing the one side slander Obama and the other side slander McCain. It’s almost impossible to know what any candidate actually believes and stands for, because there’s always going to be one faction who’s convinced that the opposing candidate is the enemy and must be slandered at all cost. I hardly ever hear anyone touting their own favorite candidate, giving me their policies and positions, I just hear people trying to rub dirt onto the candidate they’re not supporting. My policy is simple: If you begin talking politics and say anything negative, I will shut down and not listen to anything you say. Give me the good of any and all sides and I’ll be raptly paying attention, with genuine interest, and I’ll let you know what I think when you’re done. This goes for all you candidates, too: smear campaigns do nothing for me. I won’t listen to them.

Politics suck; God bless America; Roll Tide!

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written by Matt Mitchell \\ tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Feb 29

Reflections by Comrade Fidel. Oh yeah, he should get a blog, or at least set up RSS for these articles.

El Jefe is jefe no more, handing the reigns to brother Raul, ending the tenure of the Last Great Revolutionary. What does this bode for Cuba, pearl of the Caribbean Sea? Not much in the immediate future, as Raul is fundamentally and ideologically as hard-line as Fidel. But Raul will likely want to leave his own mark in the history books of Cuba, rather than being a simple note at the end of Fidel’s paragraph: “At this point Raul assumed power and everything was the same as before.” I believe Raul will do something, but what that something will be I have no idea.

For Fidel, it looks like blogging will occupy a bit of his time for a while. And what a great blog that would be, too. No, he won’t call it a blog, but essentially that’s what it’ll be, and for the time being he’s calling it “Reflections by Comrade Fidel.” His first entry is interesting enough to make me want to read more. The enigmatic Marxist is imminently quotable, as well:

The end of a historical period is not the same as the beginning of the end of an unsustainable system.

Cryptic, yes, but he’s talking about America there, in a way that says “this is what I have known for many years.” He believes, as he always has, that America’s system won’t support itself, that it is bound to eventually fail, and he may have been right all along, even though he may not live long enough to see the resulting cataclysm.

And he says:

At this point I am dedicating myself to the adversaries. I enjoyed watching the embarrassing position of all the candidates for the United States presidency. One by one they were obliged to announce their immediate demands of Cuba in order not to risk losing a single voter. Not that I am a Pulitzer Prize winner interrogating them on CNN on the most delicate political and even personal matters from Las Vegas, where the logic of chance of the roulette rules and where one has to make ones humble presence if aspiring to be president.

Fifty years of blockade seemed too little to the favorites. Change! Change! Change! They all cried in unison.

I agree. Change! But, inside the United States. Cuba changed long ago and will now follow a dialectical path.

Yes, dialectical and mired in poverty. Dear Jefe, your life’s work is nearing its end, and left so much unaccomplished. You fought long and hard, but in the end your island gem of the Caribbean is in little better shape than it was when you firmly announced your presence.

Fidel Castro is one of those great men, the kind who walk into a room and own it without saying a word. He always had that way about him, too, it didn’t come by way of his presidency. One thing is for certain: Fidel became the revolutionary he is because he loved Cuba and he (correctly) believed the system in place at the time was corrupt. He removed the corruption, but then he replaced it with dictatorial communism, firmly believing in its core theory, failing to realize that human nature would never allow it to function as designed. 

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written by Matt Mitchell \\ tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Jan 28

I’m sure it says something about my nature, that my favorite series’ of books are the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the Aubrey-Maturin books, and Lone Wolf and Cub. Maybe it’s just that I enjoy different varieties; I don’t know. What I do know is I find every book in each of these series’ imminently entertaining.

If you read my recent post, 10 Things I’ve Done That You Probably Haven’t, you’ll possibly have noticed that I mentioned that I’d read the Patrick O’Brian canon. Of the three series’, this one was the longest at 21 books. There are a few other notable books in his canon, but none that compare to Aubrey-Maturin. The naturalist in me respects and is in awe of Dr. Maturin. I’ve laughed at his nerdiness, been impressed by his boldness, and intimidated by his fearlessness. Captain “Lucky” Jack Aubrey is not nearly as sophisticated nor complex as his running mate, but is equally admirable. You can count on Aubrey to be resolute, defined, pragmatic and explosive when he needs to be.

Before the movie Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World came out, I was sure Jack Aubrey looked just like me. He’s described as being tall and weighing about 16 stone with blonde hair. Right now I’m about 15 stone, but I’m 6′3″ and, when I was reading the bulk of the series I was running along at about 16. But then the movie came out, and now Russell Crowe’s face is indelibly etched in my mind onto the head of Lucky Jack. Still, it’s fun to fantasize that I’m the fearless captain of the Surprise, barking orders, tasting the wind, and endlessly pacing the quarterdeck. The movie itself is decent, drawing from several of the books rather than attempting to follow the series. It’s obvious that this was a one-time shot and would be no Harry Potteresque attempt at recreating the series on the silver screen. It was fun to watch the sea battles. I crank up my home theater and revel in the excitement of full broadsides booming, shaking the windows. I’m not very enamored with the acting in the movie, but I’ll usually lay blame for poor acting on the director’s shoulders, especially when the movie has known good actors, as this one does. Paul Bettany doesn’t fit with my image of Maturin, who should be shorter than Bettany and … I don’t know. Different. But then I’m not a big Paul Bettany fan. So. The movie’s shortcomings I blame on the director.

Also, it’s one of those sets of books that can alter your perceptions. I.E.; I was raised on images of Americans running the Redcoats back across the ocean. The song Battle of New Orleans by Johnny Horton was one of my favorites as a kid, in which we “Caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans” and sent them running. How much media is focused on Great Britain being the great evil? Movies like Braveheart and Quigley Down Under, as well as The Pirates of the Caribbean, where the Brits’ stuffy bureaucracy complements their ranking officers’ personal ambitions like nobody’s business.

Sure, it’s in our DNA: the majority of citizens of the US are descended from GB castoffs anyway, right? But James Bond did a lot towards allowing me to look upon the Mother country as something more than a bullying windbag. And now, finally, I can look at the face of England with the eye of a brother, wanting to forget the wrongs, glad we’re  friends. Frankly, I’ve visited the Olde Country, and I liked it. I like the people. I like the mood. Maybe I’m just an Anglo wondering about his roots, but in England I see the country that invented naval dominance and gave us Shakespeare, James Bond, Sherlock Holmes and Patrick O’Brian. And besides: it’s America who’s turned into the bully now, and frankly, that appalls me. I grew up with a Robin Hood mentality. I thought it was a-okay to steal from the rich, stuffy bastards to give to the poor needy folk. And now we are the rich, stuffy bastards, and unfortunately, we don’t quite carry that banner with the class that England did in her heyday.

For a dose of what was good about Great Britain when she was the big shark in the pond, read the Aubrey-Maturin series. You won’t regret it.

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written by Matt Mitchell \\ tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,