Unabashed

In the continuing saga of my life, I had an interesting experience I’d like to share, and one that again has awakened something inside me, something creeping and profound. Last summer I was with my mother and two nieces (aged 14 and 15) in my mother’s garden. She plucked a ripe tomato from the vine and smelled it, and then took a big bite out of it. My mouth watered. I’m used to the stock of vegetables we get at the market nowadays and I know how much difference there is between that and vine-fresh. It’s staggering. But my nieces had an entirely different take. One of them said, “Ew, gross!” And at that point there was exclaiming and proclamations on the wrongness of it all. What became clear to me in that moment was this: If something truly awful happened, and society collapsed, the human animal as it has evolved would be in a lot of trouble. Because a vegetable plucked off the vine is considered dirty, gross. That tomato was probably the cleanest, most pristinely perfect tomato those girls had ever seen, but since it wasn’t displayed in a bin at the grocer, because it was so close to soil and sky and life and segregated from any form of disinfectant by a good hundred yards, it was gross. Kids, it’s time to refresh your relationship with the Earth. Stop primping for a moment and watch the sunrise, let the rain fall on your face, stop fretting and just be.

Photo by bucklava.

written by Matt Mitchell \\ tags: gardening, tomato

I’ve never been to Portland. It’s a long, long way away from me. It would be absurd to think that I would make a 2500 mile journey just to go to a doughnut shop. But then, I might just do it. See, there’s this place over yonder called Voodoo Doughnut. I learned about it on the show No Reservations (yes, I am a Tivoer of the show) and I immediatly thought this was the best idea and best product in the world. Okay. Maybe not in the world but awfully damned good still. Why is Voodoo Doughnut so awesome?

• Their logo is great (see me in my new Voodoo Doughnut t-shirt at right, trying to look cool).
• Their slogan is sensational: “The Magic is in the Hole.”
• They sell doughnuts.
• They sometimes put bacon on their doughnuts.
• The word Voodoo is one of my favorite words; it evokes thoughts of mysticism and secret things.
• The word Doughnut is one of my favorite words; it evokes thoughts of slavering buttery fluffy tasty wonderful goodness.
• I love doughnuts. I don’t eat them though, because I love them so much. If I ate doughnuts my 16 stone frame would expand so rapidly they might hear the resulting sonic boom in Portland. 

They really need to expand. They need a shop in New Orleans and they need a shop in Hoover, AL. The one in New Orleans would be because, well, obviously just because. It’s Voodoo Doughnut. New Orleans is where Voodoo Doughnut belongs. The one in Hoover would be so I wouldn’t have to travel 2500 miles to get one. I pledge to purchase one bacon doughnut every morning (workdays only) if they will put establish a Voodoo Doughnut in Hoover. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Here’s a documentary filmed about Voodoo Doughnut, which doesn’t make it look even remotely as cool as it looked in the No Reservations Pacific NW episode in which a needy Tony Bourdain stood outside the closed shop one gray morning screaming at the sign, “Bacon Doughnut!”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cTDh5TQaaw[/youtube]

written by Matt Mitchell

My highly-anticipated Coffee Fool delivery arrived Friday, and three days later than it was expected to arrive, but I suppose I can credit the busy holiday week for the sluggish mail system. By the time I got into my kitchen I was very eager to have at it.

It ships in a plastic, air-tight baggy, zip-lockable to keep the fresh in. Once I had it out of its shipping box, I read the packaging through and through. There weren’t many surprises, although one thing did jump out at me: Coffee Fool recommends freezing your coffee to help keep it fresh. I’ve heard it told both ways, and it seems that’s always been a big question, to freeze or not to freeze? But this is the first time I’ve heard a creditable source give any advisement. Once I had the bag open I have to say I was surprised by the aroma. It filled the whole house almost, and was wonderfully fragrant. I’ve always loved the smell of coffee, maybe even more than the taste, but opening this bag of coffee unleashed a lot more aroma than what you usually get with coffee, gourmet or otherwise, and if anything it was even more pleasingly aromatic.

The instructions were simple: One tablespoon of ground coffee for every six ounces of water. So I whipped out the ol’ burr mill and ground enough for six tablespoons, added 36 oz of water to the old Sunbeam coffee maker and switched it on.

Normally I like my coffee strong and black, with just a bit of sugar to soften the blow. I’ve gotten into the habit of purchasing dark-roast coffee, which, according to Coffee Fool, means burnt coffee. Coffee Fool proclaims they only roast their beans to medium or “American” roast, so I was surprised, when the coffee was ready, at how dark it was. And when I poured my first cup I was equally surprised at how rich it was.

Is this coffee superior to all others? I wouldn’t say that. I wouldn’t say it’s much better than what you can get at Starbucks or at a local coffee shop (which is where I usually get mine). I would say it’s superior to anything you can get at a grocery store, vastly superior to anything pre-ground. Don’t ask me about instant. I don’t even qualify instant as coffee. Instant coffee is to coffee what “orange-flavored drink” is to orange juice.

Now, one very important thing to keep in mind is this: I purchased the lowest-end brand of coffee available on Coffee Fool, their Columbian Supremo. Coffee Fool has a lot of coffee, and if this is their most ordinary, I am very intrigued and willing to sample some of their more premium brands. So: I’m moving up the coffee ladder at Coffee Fool, I’ll let you know how it goes.

written by Matt Mitchell \\ tags: Coffee, Columbian, fool

Meso-Americans once made beer from cacao seeds. Yes: Chocolate Beer. There are some modern chocolate-flavored beers in the world today, but they usually don’t actually have chocolate in them and are marketed to the Valentine’s Day enthusiast, which puts them in an gimicky, unflatering category for me. Like SPAM (the meat product, not the email), yes, just like SPAM. And I won’t eat SPAM and I won’t drink chocolate beer that has no chocolate in it. Ammend that: If it’s just chocolate-flavored then I’m not going near it. If it’s beer with chocolate added to give it flavor then I’m not going near it. If I’m going to give it a go it would have to genuine, authentic, beer-brewed-from-cacao-seed chocolate beer. Now that sounds tantalizing.

Yes, this concoction of the Mayan’s…it sounds like something I want. Very. Badly.

Give. Plz.

written by Matt Mitchell \\ tags: Beer, cacao, chocolate, Maya, Mayan, Mayans