Ken McConnell Little Brother
May 23

While I’m thinking about it, I’ve had dreams before that have ended up being incorporated into various stories I’ve written. For instance, one morning I woke up with a clear line in my head, which may not make any sense to you (it didn’t to my wife), but nevertheless I liked it and I thought it was funny so I adapted it. The line was this:

“Being the first ith, he was Irmth. His name was Irmth the Eleventh.”

As it happened I was embroiled in the writing of a scifi comedy about a space-traveling zydeco accordion player named Joe Remeleaux Redmill. Irmth became the bad guy for that story, and it’s one of those humorous SciFic pieces I told you I’d really like to find a home for.

The way it finally worked out was: Irmth belonged to a race that was the result of a genome abnormality in an entirely other race, the name of which is inconsequential at this point. Irmth and his kind were called “Shifts” by those they were spun off from, and were shunned despite their evident superior evolutionary state. Irmth was the eleventh Shift to have evolved, though there are many thousands in the universe now. Shifts were art-loving Methuselahs who lived millions of years. They were born with duplex personalities and referred to themselves using 1st person plural pronouns (we, us, our). They speak with two voices and, in the bulbous, gelatinous, transparent midriff of their bodies, which is usually tinted green or blue or brown and inside of which can be seen their organs and various floating detritus, had a second face, though their physiology was otherwise more or less human in appearance. They were usually phenomenally rich, intelligent, and deviant (though not sexually, not having the necessary equipment). Irmth himself was the first Shift of a separate branch called Ith. The only difference between a normal Shift and an Ith was that an Ith was much taller. Irmth specifically enjoys cocktails, sometimes delivered intravenously, technology and information, and music. He has organized numerous events throughout the Universe, some of which were so successful that they never stopped. Irmth scours the Galaxy, looking for musical talent to feature at his events, and is currently organizing and promoting an event in the Hypersholean system called “Music Horizon,” which promises to be a never-ending event and boasts five generation seven Posi-Tek SubSpaceWoofter Platforms, release 5ZR11.32.99, AKA the GalactiBlaster, which essentially turns a moon or planet into a speaker. When Irmth hears music he likes, he usually leaves his card, which is the model of simplicity:

Being the first ith, he was Irmth.
His name was Irmth the Eleventh.

If you liked that post, then try these...

Newsworthy Notes on the Picnic Table Front on April 1st, 2008

I Found Jesus on October 18th, 2005

DoDoDon't on April 1st, 2008

Sven on February 1st, 2008

The horror that lies at your fingertips, everyday... on May 27th, 2008

written by Matt Mitchell \\ tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Responses to “Irmth the Eleventh”

  1. Steph Says:

    That line amuses me, somehow. I wish I dreamed fun lines to use in my stories. I’ve gotten a few good ideas out of dreams, but never any nifty lines.

    Anyways, I found your blog on blogcatalog.com and since you’re obviously into writing, I wanted to let you know about a new e-zine that me and a few writer friends are putting together.

    It’s called The Oddville Press
    http://theoddvillepress.com/

    Our website isn’t completely finished yet since we’re just getting off the ground. Still, you should check us out if you’re interested–or better yet, submit something!

    Thanks a bunch, and good luck finding a home for that story of yours. :)

  2. Matt Mitchell Says:

    Thanks, Steph. I will check it out.

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